Keep them away from the pointy objects

Allah has once again linked to a story relating to the Great Obama Birth-Certificate Conspiracy, and this has inevitably led to another flood of hundreds of heated comments on both sides of the "issue". This fucking shit has to end. Now.

What the fuck is wrong with these morons (and I mean that in the derogatory fashion)? First, what fucking difference is it going to make? Ok so fine, let's indulge in your delusional fantasy: It is proven that Obama was not born in Hawaii, then what? First, the law has been for years that a person born to a mother who is a US citizen is automatically a US citizen, ergo Obama would still be a 'Natural Born US Citizen'.

Oh, you don't wan't to obey previous case law, fine, let's go a step further. Who defines what it means to be a 'Natural Born Citizen'? That's right, fuckstick, the Congress. So all that congress would have to do is clarify that being born to a US citizen automatically makes you a 'Natural Born Citizen'; problem solved.

Oh, that is still not good enough for you shit heads? Fine, let's indulge your ultimate goal, Congress declares Obama to not be the President anymore, who will be the President? I don't fucking know, but it wouldn't be a god damned Republican! Let's go down the line of succession, shall we? The most likely replacement is Joe Biden. Joe Biden! That's a lot fucking better, now isn't it? Ok, so maybe Biden isn't the legitimate President because he was elected under an ineligible President. Who's next? Nancy fucking Pelosi. Fantastic. Thanks guys, you really saved us from that bastard Obama.

You are hurting our side with your inane insanity. Does this make people more willing to believe in fiscal conservatism? No. Does this persuade people to advocate judicial restraint? Fucking NO! You are worse than the god damned Truthers.

And now is the time where I indulge in my own little form off conspiracy theory. I like to think I have a logical and rational political philosophy. It disturbs me to see people who allegedly share this philosophy acting like a bunch of tin-foil hat wearing nut-jobs. I'm not entirely convinced that a lot of the people egging this on aren't Leftists who are trying to make us look nuts. If that's the case, good job you dipshits, you've taken the bait. Next time you feel the need to indulge in paranoid delusions, remember what Admiral Ackbar said: "It's a trap!"